huh.

Saw this as an ad in a blog I like to read.

My dad called Natural Teething Relief "bourbon."

"He drinks a whisky drink, he drinks a vodka drink, he drinks a lager drink, he drinks a cider drink...."

fashion for chubby chicks

I wish I weren't chubby, but I am. So!

How to Dress Well when You're Overweight

from wikiHow - The How to Manual That You Can Edit

Being overweight doesn't mean you can't look stunning: it's all about a few simple rules. You can gain 10lbs with the wrong clothes

Steps

1. Make sure you are honestly aware of your body type. Overweight women tend to fall into two broad categories:
   
   • Pears: A neat waist and good bust with heavy hips and legs.
     
   • Apples: A heavier stomach and upper body, with slender leg.
     
2. Do not settle for less than fashionable clothes. Yes, it is harder to dress in the latest styles when designers base their designs around scrawny models. However, many designers are now taking plus-sized women into account.
   
3. Find well-fitting underwear. It is almost impossible - whatever your size - to look good with unsupportive and flimsy underwear. It is imperative to wear low-legged high-waisted knickers in a firm supportive cotton. This can reduce your bulk by a good two to three inches, and make sure that no unsightly wobbling can be seen underneath your clothes. Bridget Jones knew what she was talking about!
   
4. Wear a bra that will hoist the bust up far enough to leave a long midriff - often a bad bra allows the bust to 'seep' into the stomach, making it look as if you're one shapeless lump.
   
5. Get several pairs of opaque tights. They smooth out the line from the waist to the knee, and ensure there's no chafing if you're rushing around in the warm.
   
6. Choose your bottom half.
   
   • Pears should avoid trousers unless they are doing the gardening, and favour calf-length skirts, either A-line or gathered to a dropped waistband. Pears should avoid full-length skirts, which carry the broadness of the hips right down to the floor, and give the impression of a walking door.
     
   • Apples should wear a nicely-tailored pair of trousers (without pleats at the waistband, which add bulk to the stomach), well-fitting jeans, or pencil skirts that fall to just below the knee.
     
7. Choose your top half.
   
   • Pears should wear a top that reaches far enough down the body not to ride up when the arms are raised, and that fit well to display a small waist. A cardigan with one or two buttons done up over a pretty vest, a fitted shirt, or a snug jersey top with a deep V neck all look fabulous with a calf-length skirt.
     
   • Apples should wear some of the beautiful smocks and tunics that are in fashion at the moment. The gorgeous colours and swathes of fabric do a marvellous job of covering up any rolls or bulk around the stomach area, and leave slender legs looking even better in snug jeans, trousers, or sturdy leggings.
     
8. Add accessories and shoes. There is no excuse for an overweight woman not to have a wardrobe full of the most beautiful and unusual accessories around. Very slim women are often swamped by some of the most extravagant jewelry that look wonderful on bigger women. The fashion for large chunky beads is useful - you should avoid delicate diamond jewellery. Not only is it naff, it will be entirely lost on you. A big bag can make you look smaller, simply by not appearing tiny next to your bottom. 2 or 3 chunky bangles will make a plump wrist appear slender. Wearing long dangly earrings will elongate the neck.
   
   • Pears should have a supply of boots - Evans is the best shop for wide-fitting calves. A good pair of boots makes wearing a skirts a positive joy.
     
   • Apples can wear kitten heels or stilettos. Pears, with their heavy legs and ankles, should avoid at all costs: it merely looks as if you are about to fall over, or sink into the floor. A wedge heel, on the other hand, looks marvellous, however stout your legs are.
     
9. Sit down in front of the mirror. Many overweight women simply do not realise that what looks good standing up is disastrous sitting down. Does your skirt ride up and show a lumpy thigh? Can you wave to a friend across the room without straining at your sleeve? If there is the least chance that you will feel uncomfortable, find an alternative: there's nothing worse than the suspicion that any sudden movements will split your seams.
   

Tips

• Cleavage is a weapon to be used whenever possible. A beautifully exfoliated and moisturised bust, not sluttishly displayed but peeking out over a scoop neck or between the unbuttoned seams of a fitted shirt, will induce most people to forgive any other failings in your body!
  
• If in doubt about your size, always get the larger version. When you try clothes on in the changing room, you're holding in your stomach and surveying yourself from a flattering angle. In real life, that top that 'just' fits is far too small. Something a little larger will leave people wondering whether you've lost a few lbs.
  
• Bias cuts skirts should be avoided by all overweight women unless they are in a sturdy fabric. Anything bias-cut in a lightweight or clingy fabric looks genuinely appalling, and has been known to make size 12s that are well over 5 ft 9 look as if they should diet. If I had my way, they'd be illegal.
  
• Try out a wrap dress. These are far from the cure-all that some think them, but over trousers they may work for you. (on the other hand, as with me, they may add a stone. there's no logic to this)
  
• Stand straight and walk with grace. Walking with your head down and stomping heavily will only make you radiate your thickness.
  
• Learn to sew! Making a calf-length A-line skirt for pears, or a slender knee-length skirt for apples, is the easiest thing in the world, and even done by hand only takes an afternoon. You will then have a well-fitting item that no-one else has.
  
• Be aware of the power of illusion. Sometimes you meet women and are so bedazzled by their antique necklace, forties handbag, customised skirt and exquisite make-up, that it's some time before you realise they're probably a size 18. If you leave the house thinking you look fabulous, chances are several others will think so too.
  
• Big hair is a great help. It balances out your size. Big women with short boyish haircuts risk the pea-head look. Shoulder-length curls are probably best, but any fulness and gloss is a great complement to round, plump shoulders and a large bust.
  
• Be well groomed. A size 20 woman who smells of Chanel, has a discreet manicure, sits elegantly, and now and then pats a glossy head of hair, will win out every time over some pinched little wench who may well be size ten but looks as if she needs a shower.
  

Things You'll Need

• A full-length mirror
  
• An impressive selection of unusual, vintage, chunky jewelry
  
• Wide-fitting boots
  
• Big supportive pants
  
• A bra capable of wearing the weight of your breast
  
• Opaque tights
  
• Wedge heeled-shoes or sandals
  
• A large bag
  

Related wikiHows

• How to Choose an Outfit for School
  
• How to Choose Good Clothes
  
• How to Dress to Look Taller
  
• How to Make a Whole New Wardrobe by Recycling Your Clothes
  
• How to Recreate Your Wardrobe
  

Article provided by wikiHow, a wiki how-to manual. Please edit this article and find author credits at the original wikiHow article on How to Dress Well when You're Overweight. All content on wikiHow can be shared under a Creative Commons license.

treat

Just for fun, just 'cause I love romance, just wanted to share:

Control

How can one celebrate accomplishments when all one can think about are one's failures?  Also, one person's accomplishments are nothing to a different person.  Like, I can make really tasty gravy.  I just can. I'm not bragging, it's just a fact.  Like, Adele can sing well.  Just a fact.  So, for my sister-on-law, who claims to be not able to make gravy, for her to make yummy, rich, delicious, smooth gravy is a real accomplishment!

For me, getting outside is huge.  HUGE.  Even to check the mail.  Gardening is a real chore, because I'm so far outside.  Grocery shopping is torture and malls are horrifying.  It really sucks. I understand this discomfort comes from a sense of being not in control.  I'm learning that I really like being in control and sometimes think I have more control than I do.  I need to learn how to accept, embrace even, NOT being in control.

A sincere prayer

hee hee!

Happy Star Wars Day!

I used to have this book in hardcover. *sob*  Ah, the losses of life....

A week in a day!

I did more today than I usually do in a whole week!  And that's kinda sad, but we won't go there.

Bro blew into town from the Deep South and actually gave me (almost) 24 hours notice, which is MAJOR for him!  Usually, it's the same day notice, or he just shows up.  It's fun, and it's frustrating, all at the same time.  But, ultimately, I'm just delighted to see him!  Before he left today, we met for breakfast with his son and soon-to-be daughter-in-law and son's brother-from-another-mother (it's complicated, but it works).

It was 6:30 a.m. - we were all pretty cheery for such an early hour.  I kinda forgot 6:30 a.m. existed.

Aren't they sweet? Ah, young love....

I love my Bro!

After that (8:00 a.m.), I met Cinnamon for coffee, but didn't get any pics.  It was SUPER crowded at the coffeeshop and we didn't get to meet for long, but it was wonderful to catch up in person with her.  Here's an old-ish pic, just for reference, and 'cause I love pics.

Then, I did laundry, and walked to work.

Yes, I did.

Yup, not kidding, I did, both too and from.  30 minutes each way.

For agoraphobic, chicken-chit, "are you lookin' at ME?" me, that's big news!  And manohman, do I ever need the exercise.  It should be good for me.  Right?  Only one cat-call, so that's good.  On the way home, I noticed a flying pig in someone's front yard, empty plastic easter eggs scattered all over another yard, and had to suffer through smelling the absolutely BEST, most DELICIOUS smelling BBQ from one block away.

It was fun!  Mostly.  Now I'm jonesin' for some bbq.

I really wish I'd gotten pics of the pig and the eggs.  The pig was aDORable, just really cute in a not "squee" sort of way.  And the slaughtered easter eggs....  There are no words.  I'll just give you this:

eek.



Off topic, I had really pretty hair yesterday!

Cake

I can't stop thinking about cake.  Chocolate cake. cake cake cake.  All because I watched a video of an interview with the Duke and Duchess of Cambridge's wedding cake maker.

sooooooo pretty!

I could get Zingerman's:

Or an Arnie's Dutch Chocolate Torte

(like (H)andsome got me a few years ago)

It's my favorite cake, and they're local.

I could, of course, make for myself, but baking is a synthesis of chemistry, skill and magic.  I have never successfully made an edible cake.  Cupcakes, yes.  Cake, not so much.  And cupcakes are a TON of work.  Much easier to just buy a cake!