wishing but not doing

There are so many things I WANT to do: organize my bedroom, paint the dining room, trim the forsythia, read more books, get the housework over and done with already geesh!, make some tote bags and pillows, learn to knit better and then knit more, learn to crochet the right way, get my books organized, write actual handwritten letters to friends.... The list goes on and on. Yet I sit here online, doing nothing! Lame. I am lame.
I know, I know, "just do it." I KNOW! The first steps, getting started, that's the hardest part for me. Getting motivated. Also, having confidence that I CAN do it, do it right, and have it look good. That's another "stopper." sigh.

Just rambling today.

'S all good!

I had a colonoscopy this morning and all is well. I have a hangover from the sedation, but everything is ok. I was so, so , so sooooooo scared about it. Not about the day-before prep (no food; laxative; drink vast quantity of Gatorade with stuff in it to make ya poo), no that didn't bother me a bit. It was the knowledge that I'd be sedated and not remember what I said or did. In the past, I've had a difficult time coming out of anesthetic (after a bone graft) and I'm terrified of being conscious but unable to open my eyes, weeping uncontrollably, and saying weird stuff.

When I had the nerve and tendon repair done on my thumb (a few years after the bone graft on my wrist), I BEGGED the anesthesiologist to just give me a local. He just laughed at me. For that one, I woke up just fine (remember that Sis? Remember how scared I was? I was so happy to see you and Jim at my side as I came out of recovery. Thank you for being there, Honey!) But the fear has stayed.

So, for this, it wasn't so much the undignified position, the "ick" factor, or anything like that that made me afraid: It was the sedation. Well, I did ok. I said a few silly things, like "ooooh! Sparkly!" when I saw the pictures of my innards - one of them was just really sparkly, really! And I blathered on about how much I like to push buttons when I watched the nurse mess around with a machine. Also, I was fascinated by the simplicity of my sedation regulator-thingy, I pointed out how ingenious it was in its efficiency and simple design. geez. Then, when I was supposed to be resting, I really wanted to do yoga. The helper-lady discouraged me and seemed a bit miffed that I was so chipper, but I was raring to go! She made us wait a little while, until I just decided it was time and started getting dressed. Then she said "I guess you're ready to go." To be honest I had a killer buzz goin' on. Excellent druggage. 'Cept, now I have a hangover from it! HA!



















Afterwards, we went out for breakfast to Marie Catrib's, where we got delish chow and sweet service. Then, we went to "Sally Ann" and I got some cute skirts and a couple tops and a Red Wings cap and a cute pair of shoes. THEN, we went to Jersey Junction and I got a double chocolate malted. YUM! We lounged on the airing porch until it started to rain and then I napped. Now it's time for Pizza and Doctor Who! And later, it's "Chuck" night! I loooove that show.

motor scooter

I really want a motorcycle. But I'm chicken. My first boyfriend dumped his Suzi right in front of a full-size Chevy van. We skidded under the front and were stopped by the tires of the van kissing the tires of the Suzi. It so sucked.

So, I'm still scared of dumping my bike. Road rash takes a while to heal. I scar more easily now that I'm not so young. Yet, I do want a motorcycle! I want this one, in fact.





Not cool, not "stylin'", not fashionable, not edgy, not anything special. But definitely reliable, light, maneuverable, readily repairable, affordable, and anonymous. I like anonymous. I don't think I'd ... what's the term... "pimp" out my bike. I'd just let it be who it is. I'm not interested in being the høt b!ker ch!ck.




* sigh *

i just want to have fun!

shopping

I think we all know that I am the Thrift Store Queen. Indeed, I rule thriftiness. Today, I was making my royal progress through a GW store and there were so many people there! Geez! I can tell how crappy the economy is by how crowded thrift stores are on a regular, ol' weekday. Yeah, we all know how crappy the economy is. Man, it was crowded, though. And it seemed like wherever I was, someone else wanted to be RIGHT THERE, too! Not just near, but thisclose to me, wanting to look at the item that IN MY HAND. Very annoying.


see more dog and puppy pictures


I scored a Spring Green work blouse, a cute 'n flippy linen skirt (it might be too young. Maybe I'll post a pic), and several books, one of which is the book for next month's book club Yellow Raft on Blue Water by Michael Dorris, and The Burning Bridge (Ranger's Apprentice #2) by John Flanagan, a series I looooove! It's signed by the author! W00t! I've already got the whole series, but, what the HEY! It's signed! I got more books, too. A couple of books about Ireland, 'cause Mr. Handsome and I are thinking about going there in August.

Speaking of Mr Handsome, I also got a new-to-me bag. Don't tell him! He'll never notice!

You'll feel better for it!

Here's the deal: poopforpeace, not joking (much).

And here's a sum-up:  

"Poop For Peace Day is not a day of protest.  Pooping for peace is not a left-wing or right-wing activity.

 Pooping for peace is an act of unity.  It's not about religion or politics.  Rather, it's about the simple truth:

 Underlying our religions and our politics are universal needs, wants and desires.  To poop for peace is to

transcend arbitrary divisions and embrace that which makes us human.  Only from starting at such a

fundamental truism can we hope to expand our understandings and solve our differences."

Odd?  Sure!  Serious?  Why not?

technology!

Well, I quit Facebook, 'cause I was sick of feeling like no one talked to me. But then, when I quit, I got some emails that read, essentially, "WTF?" So, I'm back on. Mostly 'cause my "pet dragon" was starving and dirty and covered in flies! AWFUL!











Now, to add to ridiculousness, I've joined Twitter. What the hell am I gonna tweet about? "I just sat down and opened my 'puter."

"I just looked at cheezburger."

"I had cereal for breakfast."

I mean, really. Who CARES?!? This blog is more a journal/diary thingy for myself and to let Sis know what I'm up to. Anyone else out there??? Anyone else on Facebook or Twitter? I use a fake name for those, so let me know and I'll tell you what name I'm using and we can share all the important cereal-centric minutiae in our lives!

A good start

I'm very happy to report that
CUBS WIN! CUBS WIN! CUBS WIN!









Alfonso Soriano, Reed Johnson and Kosuke Fukudome celebrate the win!










Thanks, in large part, to Lilly and his pitching co-horts, the Rockies were stopped with one hit and no runs. It's a great way to start the home season!

Lilly pitches under the sharp gaze of a full crowd on a wet, cold day at the Friendly Confines



Kevin Gregg made the save







Look how wet the field is. You can see the water dripping from the ball as hero-pitcher Ted Lilly retrieves a bunt from Ubaldo Jiminez.














The National Anthem




(all pics c. AP, from daylife.com and gocubbiesjess.mlblogs.com)


Just found this chick's blog: Cubs Gal Who Loves Baseball

I think I found Bro's next wife!

kitty yoga

This is so cute! I've decided that I'm going to try doing yoga again. I used to love it!

GREAT surprise!

Bro showed up, totally out of the blue, on Sunday! I was upstairs and Mr Handsome shouted up "Your brother is here," no urgency or excitement, just like "The sky is blue today." I was all "what did he just say? I must've misheard him." But no, yeah, it really was Bro!


He came right at the time we usually stary IMing with Sis, so Mr. Handsome lent Bro his laptop and Bro and I sat next to each other and we all IMed (including Spy Master)! It was very silly to be sitting next to my fave Bro, who lives in Tucson, and be IMING! We'd look at each other and just giggle while we IMed.



So, we've been having movie nights. Bro came over Mon, Tues and Wed night and we watched the whole Bourne trilogy. It was GREAT! I just lvoed seeing him! Tonight he's got other plans and I've got a Poetry event at the bookstore (it's National Poetry Month, People! Read a poem! Write a poem!), but I hope we'll get together before he leaves again.

I miss my family!

(updated later)
I will be missing the Poetry Event. Still dizzy (5 days now). I guess I should do something about it....

Freaking out rant

I've been lost in Nostalgia lately, truly lost. Looking at favorite movies, tv shows, fashions from 15+ years ago. Living more in the past than the Right Now. I have a super-easy, really nice life; yet all I see are the dirty dishes, the laundry, the piles of books to be read. The vacuum looms like a beast from nightmares. At the bookstore, the honeymoon is over. The fibromyalgia has cranked up. I'm chubbier than ever.



All of the above is well within my control. It's the same old thing: I know what I need to do, I don't need anyone to TELL me; I just need to do it! Years ago, when I felt overwhelmed, I'd ask my friend Furniture Girl, to come over and keep me company while I shovelled out the muck. She's an actual grown-up now, though, with a heavy-duty job, a needy husband, a toddler and a nugget on the way. And a hugemungous house of her own to care for.

Ok, what I've decided to do is to start walking to work, at least once a week. I have to go through some pretty rough 'hoods, but it'll be during the day and it's not like I'm going to carry a Louis Vuitton bag or anything. So, that's one. Another is, I'm going to stop adding to the "to be read" pile. Those books stare at me, neglected children. Mr. Handsome and I need to figure out a fair housework schedule, too. Just telling him I can't do it all myself doesn't get anywhere.

Also, more sleep. AND more coffee. One cup a day isn't enough. And hasn't helped the insomnia, anyway. Anyone out there using a dream journal? Does that help with the sleeping?

Whew!

So, things are finally slowing down - next week will be back to normal. But I plan on shaking things up a bit. Mr. Handsome and I are becoming rooted to our comfy chairs. We need to get out more! Sis, you and Spy Master's fun weekend last weekend has encouraged me to get out and enjoy what our area has to offer. Like, for instance, there are a bunch of people who are setting up their telescopes this week for people to view the moon, for FREE! It's to honor the "400th anniversary of Galileo's first telescopic glimpses of the moon."
Also, our Art Museum has a new exhibit and that's cheap fun. There are lots of things to do that I can't list right now, 'cause, guess what? I'm late for work!