99 years old

Cleo is 20 (and 9 months). She can vote. This Spring, she'll be 21 and be able to order a martini. If she lives that long.

Night before last, we had a real scare with her. She's old, she's got kidney disease that can't be treated by diet (the usual way) because she's also got food allergies. She's pretty deaf and I think her eyes are failing. She's often uncomfortable because she's got arthritis and the kidney disease makes her body produce too much stomach acid, so she's got that, too. And she's got dementia, which makes her howl and yowl at nothing. Yet, she seems to enjoy her life. She's got two heated beds (three, if you count my body); a companion to beat up on (poor Bubba), likes to be wherever her humans are and really loves mealtimes. She's still enjoying life, gets around just fine, can still jump on the kitchen counter, even! She's not supposed to, mind - we just know she does if we're careless enough to leave fresh flowers up there. The girl can NOT resist munching on fresh flowers. There is NOTHING wrong with her nose.

So, The Scare.

She often howls, like someone is torturing her. Very disconcerting, but it's just part of her dementia. So, we kind of tune it out, as best we can. Nothing we can do, after all. But she made some vocalizations that were unlike anything I'd heard come from her before. She sounded truly distressed. I jumped up, and she was stumbling and falling over and it was horrible. Then she vomited twice and collapsed. She didn't respond to any visual stimulus and seemed completely out of it, though she was still conscious. We stayed with her for hours, pondering what to do. My instincts said she was suffering and we should take her to the Pet Emergency Hospital and prepare to say good bye (i.e. have her euthanized). We've been trying to prepare ourselves for her death for the last three years. I mean, she's very old! But she just doesn't SEEM old! She's clean and shiny and flexible and spry and vibrant.... She just doesn't seem that old.... But she is.

Well, Handsome wasn't ready and I certainly wasn't going to push it. He saved her from a bunch of street kids who had her in a steel drum half-filled with water, to see if she could swim, when she was a tiny kitten. He's her daddy, for sure. When he and his Practice Wife divorced, she got the TV, he got Cleo (and her companion kitty, Ned). There's no way I'm going to make him do anything regarding Cleo's final exit. And, she's my baby-girl, too. She's the cat I've had in my life the longest, over 17 years. I love this cat so very, very, much. We were both in tears.

We put her in one of her heated beds and she curled right up and went to sleep. All night long, I kept checking to make sure she was still breathing. We kept her and a litter box and a bowl of water in our room, with the door closed all night. Bubba was miserable, because we locked him out. He's a bed hog and I wanted to let Cleo sleep with me without competing for space, if she chose to get up on the bed (we have kitty steps, so no jumping). Cleo did come up and sleep with me, so it was a good call, I think. But poor Bubs cried all night.

In the morning, Cleo was much better! Not 100%, still wobbly on her pins, and not responsive to visual cues, but much more stable. She ate a little bit, drank some water, urinated fine. We thought maybe she had a stroke; one pupil looked bigger than another and she was so weak on one side. As soon as our vet opened, I called and they were able to fit us in right away, and we even got to see our own favorite vet, Dr. Vincent (though, honestly, they're all really skilled and excellent doctors). Cleo and I raced the 20 minutes through the dark and snow and of course, as soon as I got there, I started crying and couldn't stop. I wish Handsome could have come with me. I could've used the support, but he had to go to work, of course. Thank goddness I had the day off!

Anyhoo, I used to work there, so I know a lot of the people and was so glad to get a Vet Tech I knew, one of the most experienced techs there, Michele. Michele is a very no-nonsense, straight-forward woman, but was very kind and understanding of my tears. SO! She asked some questions and took Cleo's blood pressure with the tiniest little BP cuff you've ever seen and Dr. Vincent came in and asked more and then they took Cleo back for some blood and urine tests. Everything was as normal as could be expected for such an old kitty. Dr. V was concerned about the half-pound weight loss Cleo had since October. That's a LOT of weight for such a small cat in a short amount of time. Cleo now weighs 5.25 pounds. Tiny. Dr. V confirmed that Cleo's right eye wasn't responding to light; the iris was expanded and not shrinking as it normally would. She thought it had to do with muscle atrophy, though, not a stroke. There was no evidence of blood in her eye. It's just that, as Cleo ages, her muscles are failing, losing, as it were, and the eye muscle got "stuck" in the open-iris position.

About Cleo's episode, Dr. V believes it might have been profound vertigo. That would explain EVERYTHING. The loss of stability - when you don't know which way is up, you don't know where to put your feet - , and the vomiting (nausea caused by vertigo), the odd and scary cry (because Cleo was terrified), and the eye-jiggling. Unfortunately, there's no preventative treatment, there's no way to predict it, and there's nothing we can do, other than treat it when it happens (because it will probably happen again). So, we're to be on the alert and watch her carefully. And we also must keep in mind that she's pretty much blind. Can't see anything out of her right eye and her left eye probably only sees shadowy images at best. No moving furniture around for us! Now, every time she yowls, I'm jumping up to find her! And when she goes upstairs or jumps, I'm watching her like a hawk. I'm so glad I have today and tomorrow off, too. And Sunday. So I can watch her like an overprotective mom. Which is what I am.

Mostly, I'm just so glad that Handsome said he wasn't ready to say goodbye. All my instincts said the kindest thing for Cleo would be to let her go. I'm soooooooo glad we didn't do that! I know we don't have a lot of time left with her, but at least there's a little more now.