Sweet St. Patrick's Day

How I spent my St. Patrick's Day:

With Bubba, a book, and a beer.

Then Handsome came out and so did more sunshine!

Bubba got sleepy, even though he didn't have any beer.

* gasp * choke * gahhh *

Last week, I went to an exercise class called Full Mighty Boot Camp. As I've grown to look a great deal like my sofa over the last couple of years, due to too much DVD watching and web surfing, I knew it would be a challenge. I actually did pretty well! I felt it, I mean, I found muscles I'd packed away and forgotten about, but I was able to do pretty much everything the amazing instructor asked. It felt like a gentle but strong workout and so I approached today with enthusiasm.

Today was completely different. I felt like this:

photo credit

I couldn't complete a few of the exercises, I had to take a serious break.  Embarrassing.  But it showed me how truly out of shape I am.  Also, that one should definitely eat SOMETHING before working out so hard.  I only had coffee.  I just couldn't face food; I didn't get much sleep last night.

Cleo has been ... well, it's clear her body is slowing down and she's not doing really well.  She's had several more episodes.  She doesn't seem to be suffering, but she certainly has a difficult time in the middle of the night being comfortable.  She cries a lot (dementia, we trust, not pain) and is extremely restless.  She walks all over me and tries to sit on my head.  I try everything I can think of to make her comfortable - nothing works.  Then, during the day, she seems fine.  Really old, frail, sure; but fine.  It's very frustrating.  I don't want to euthanize her if the time is not right.  But I don't want her to suffer.  I used to tell clients at the vet clinic that they'd know when it's right, and I still believe that.

So, it's off to work for me, sore and worried and tired.

Again

Cleo had another episode of vertigo last night. It's so scary! There's nothing we can do but wait it out. I've been putting off going to work for as long as possible this morning, in case she collapses again, but I really have to leave. She seems stable, if a little wobbly. This is going to worry me all day, her being home alone.

Update later that night:

She's wobbly on her pins, but much better again. Dr. V thinks she might have an infection in her middle ear, so Cleo's got to have an oral anti-biotic every day for a couple of weeks. She's also taking an anti-nausea medication and an anti-acid medication. She really is an old lady!

99 years old

Cleo is 20 (and 9 months). She can vote. This Spring, she'll be 21 and be able to order a martini. If she lives that long.

Night before last, we had a real scare with her. She's old, she's got kidney disease that can't be treated by diet (the usual way) because she's also got food allergies. She's pretty deaf and I think her eyes are failing. She's often uncomfortable because she's got arthritis and the kidney disease makes her body produce too much stomach acid, so she's got that, too. And she's got dementia, which makes her howl and yowl at nothing. Yet, she seems to enjoy her life. She's got two heated beds (three, if you count my body); a companion to beat up on (poor Bubba), likes to be wherever her humans are and really loves mealtimes. She's still enjoying life, gets around just fine, can still jump on the kitchen counter, even! She's not supposed to, mind - we just know she does if we're careless enough to leave fresh flowers up there. The girl can NOT resist munching on fresh flowers. There is NOTHING wrong with her nose.

So, The Scare.

She often howls, like someone is torturing her. Very disconcerting, but it's just part of her dementia. So, we kind of tune it out, as best we can. Nothing we can do, after all. But she made some vocalizations that were unlike anything I'd heard come from her before. She sounded truly distressed. I jumped up, and she was stumbling and falling over and it was horrible. Then she vomited twice and collapsed. She didn't respond to any visual stimulus and seemed completely out of it, though she was still conscious. We stayed with her for hours, pondering what to do. My instincts said she was suffering and we should take her to the Pet Emergency Hospital and prepare to say good bye (i.e. have her euthanized). We've been trying to prepare ourselves for her death for the last three years. I mean, she's very old! But she just doesn't SEEM old! She's clean and shiny and flexible and spry and vibrant.... She just doesn't seem that old.... But she is.

Well, Handsome wasn't ready and I certainly wasn't going to push it. He saved her from a bunch of street kids who had her in a steel drum half-filled with water, to see if she could swim, when she was a tiny kitten. He's her daddy, for sure. When he and his Practice Wife divorced, she got the TV, he got Cleo (and her companion kitty, Ned). There's no way I'm going to make him do anything regarding Cleo's final exit. And, she's my baby-girl, too. She's the cat I've had in my life the longest, over 17 years. I love this cat so very, very, much. We were both in tears.

We put her in one of her heated beds and she curled right up and went to sleep. All night long, I kept checking to make sure she was still breathing. We kept her and a litter box and a bowl of water in our room, with the door closed all night. Bubba was miserable, because we locked him out. He's a bed hog and I wanted to let Cleo sleep with me without competing for space, if she chose to get up on the bed (we have kitty steps, so no jumping). Cleo did come up and sleep with me, so it was a good call, I think. But poor Bubs cried all night.

In the morning, Cleo was much better! Not 100%, still wobbly on her pins, and not responsive to visual cues, but much more stable. She ate a little bit, drank some water, urinated fine. We thought maybe she had a stroke; one pupil looked bigger than another and she was so weak on one side. As soon as our vet opened, I called and they were able to fit us in right away, and we even got to see our own favorite vet, Dr. Vincent (though, honestly, they're all really skilled and excellent doctors). Cleo and I raced the 20 minutes through the dark and snow and of course, as soon as I got there, I started crying and couldn't stop. I wish Handsome could have come with me. I could've used the support, but he had to go to work, of course. Thank goddness I had the day off!

Anyhoo, I used to work there, so I know a lot of the people and was so glad to get a Vet Tech I knew, one of the most experienced techs there, Michele. Michele is a very no-nonsense, straight-forward woman, but was very kind and understanding of my tears. SO! She asked some questions and took Cleo's blood pressure with the tiniest little BP cuff you've ever seen and Dr. Vincent came in and asked more and then they took Cleo back for some blood and urine tests. Everything was as normal as could be expected for such an old kitty. Dr. V was concerned about the half-pound weight loss Cleo had since October. That's a LOT of weight for such a small cat in a short amount of time. Cleo now weighs 5.25 pounds. Tiny. Dr. V confirmed that Cleo's right eye wasn't responding to light; the iris was expanded and not shrinking as it normally would. She thought it had to do with muscle atrophy, though, not a stroke. There was no evidence of blood in her eye. It's just that, as Cleo ages, her muscles are failing, losing, as it were, and the eye muscle got "stuck" in the open-iris position.

About Cleo's episode, Dr. V believes it might have been profound vertigo. That would explain EVERYTHING. The loss of stability - when you don't know which way is up, you don't know where to put your feet - , and the vomiting (nausea caused by vertigo), the odd and scary cry (because Cleo was terrified), and the eye-jiggling. Unfortunately, there's no preventative treatment, there's no way to predict it, and there's nothing we can do, other than treat it when it happens (because it will probably happen again). So, we're to be on the alert and watch her carefully. And we also must keep in mind that she's pretty much blind. Can't see anything out of her right eye and her left eye probably only sees shadowy images at best. No moving furniture around for us! Now, every time she yowls, I'm jumping up to find her! And when she goes upstairs or jumps, I'm watching her like a hawk. I'm so glad I have today and tomorrow off, too. And Sunday. So I can watch her like an overprotective mom. Which is what I am.

Mostly, I'm just so glad that Handsome said he wasn't ready to say goodbye. All my instincts said the kindest thing for Cleo would be to let her go. I'm soooooooo glad we didn't do that! I know we don't have a lot of time left with her, but at least there's a little more now.

kitty toes

Let's start the week with Cleo.


And, because everyone loves kitty toes, a closeup (sorry for the blurry):

And the sun came out

I seem to be in a Yard Phase, showing you lots of pics of our yard. hmmm...

Well, the sun came out yesterday and melted all the snow! After I finished IMing with Sis, Mr. Handsome and I sat outside for a little while (it was still cold, so we didn't stay long) and enjoyed the sunshine.

While I was IMing, Bubba joined me and eventually fell asleep on my lap. I wonder what he dreamt of?

Mr Handsome has succeeded in growing carrots indoors! They are delicious, both bitter and sweet and very tender. We're hoping the tomatoes will do well, too.

So, this morning is bright and sunny and pretty warm, sweater weather, no big, heavy coat necessary! YEA!!!! I've got lots of errands to run but we're going to go see "Green Zone," too. It promises to be a great day! I hope you have a good one, too!

Mar 16

It is so WARM out today and the sun is so STRONG that I sat outside reading for hours. I can feel my body thanking me and I can smell the sun on my skin. Man! It is NICE! 63F, tons of sun and no wind. The birds were singing so loud that they drowned out the traffic! The kitties came out and joined me, enjoyed the sun, and had some catnip. Mr. Handsome came out, too! It was just really nice and felt like Summer. I even did a little gardening. Of course, now I don't want to go to work tomorrow!

Backyard is snow FREE!

That's where I did a little gardening, on the side of the driveway. Doesn't look like much, I know.

I did laundry, too, so I earned my beer.

Bubba loves the sunshine!

The over-wintered catnip

Still potent! Bubba loves the 'nip. Cleo came out and indulged, too. I should have gotten a pic!

Mr. Handsome enjoys a break from working on his hydroponic system.

It got pretty hot! I loved it! Did I say the backyard was snow free? I sure am snow white. geez. Maybe I should re-think my prejudice against fake tans and get sprayed. And do some push-ups. Geez, my arms look like mashed potatoes.
Look, this was a DAY OFF - I'm scruffy.

(credit for cutsie demand for comments: http://thedesigngirlstudio.blogspot.com)

Good morning!

7:23 a.m.

Dawn.

Nice and warm in bed, dreaming I'm at a huge party or event or something festive like that, with people I really like and who really like me. Good dream! Lots of rich colors and a rock n roll soundtrack.

Then....

Four 100# spears jab my belly and chest! I hear a "humph hrrrrhmph" and feel air wafting on my face. I'm being attacked! By a five-pound, 19 years-old feline. It's breakfast time. She can put an amazing amount of psi into each of those tiny paws when she wants to. She's got her nose rightnexttomine, gazing intently into my face, waiting for my eyes to open. Then the screaming starts (hers, not mine). I wish I could get it recorded for you. It's truly horrible. It sounds like she's being tortured or has a limb stuck in a trap. She's loud, I mean eardrum crushing loud. And she expresses the most heart-rending despair! GEEZ!

I wait an hour, hoping she'll give up or that Mr. Handsome will get up and feed the kitties, letting me sleep in.

It's good to have hope, even when you know it's hopeless. He believes it's my own fault that Cleo does this, so I should be the one to suffer the consequences. He believes it's not his problem and certainly not his responsibility. He believes it's my own fault that I can never sleep in and he shouldn't have to get up early to feed them. I see his point, but I suspect he believes I deserve to be punished by the early morning harangue. He and I have very different beliefs.

kitty bed

I must take knitting classes. I MUST! Because I want, no, I NEED to make a bunch of these for gifts for Linda and John's cats, The Blonde and Bryan's cats, Karen and Joe's cats, Book Doctor's cat (Stamp, the bookstore cat who refuses to let anyone but Book Doctor touch her), Lima's sweet little Yorkie (Hi Madison!), Mrs Puffy-Thing-In-The-Sky's cats, and of course, OUR kitties!

Links to come, maybe, but it's dinner time.

Craig

I put some stuff on Craig's List, hoping to make a few bucks from stuff I'd just be giving away otherwise. I have been weeding the closets faithfully, so don't have much to get rid of, but thought I'd give it a go. Easier than a garage sale and no one needs to come over! I figure, if anyone wants to buy my stuff, I can meet them in Meijer's parking lot or something like that.

Next, I'll weed out other stuff in the house, knick-knacks, bedding, VHSes; I just want to get rid of stuff we don't ever even think about or look at or use. I DID get some new-to-me clothes yesterday. Good ol' GW! And I completely scored with a chair for the deck! Pictures to come!

Here are pics of what Mr. Handsome is doing in the dining room.

The view from the living room. Yup, he's ripped off all the plaster from the wall, in preparation for replacing the windows with french doors and sidelights.

Here's a closer-up view.

Can you see the bird? I put two black bars, 1 above and 1 below it. It's at our suction cup window feeder, which I HIGHLY recommend to anyone who wants to see the chirpers up close!




Bubba likes to help Mr. Handsome. He's very helpfully being a table while Mr. H. does some designing and talking to a supplier. What a good and helpful kitty! And so cheerful to boot!

Cleo news

Well, Cleo has ANOTHER UTI, but is responding well to antibiotics. Also her kidney disease is progressing, as expected. We could give her subcutaneous (subQ) fluids a couple-three times a week, which would FREAK her (and me) out, or we can let things go naturally, keeping her as hydrated and as comfy as possible for her last few months (or, hopefully, years). She's 19 years old. She's my baby girl. Even if she's old enough to vote. I'm preparing myself to say goodbye, even though I know she's got lots of time left. And, of course, she's going to live forever.

I'm working on the dining room. Its walls are MESSED UP. Someone, in the past, skim-coated the plaster. Now, it's peeling away in huge sheets, revealing crevasses and cracks and even holes. Cripes. I was hoping I could just wash and then paint the walls. Nuh-uh. Lots of spackle and then I'll probably skim-coat it myself. THEN I get to paint it. But I still haven't chosen a color. I keep getting drawn to cinnamon-ey reds!

Well, enough procrastination for now. hmm.... I think I'll get another cup of coffee....

Updated at 6:47 p.m.:

I finished scraping, washing and rinsing the walls last night and have now finished priming them. Mr Handsome says I should do that BEFORE the skim-coat. * sigh * another step. Now, for the last two hours, I've been trolling the 'net, ostensibly "while I had lunch." HA! It doesn't take two hours to eat a piece of pizza, three hot wings and a dozen Pr!ngles. ...or does it...?

yogurt and blueberries and rambling

Hey, instead of cereal for breakfast, I'm having YOGURT and BLUEBERRIES! My life is so exciting. Actually, I prefer it this way, I think. Excitement isn't all it's cracked up to be, necessarily. But there are certainly thrilling things that happen. For instance, the Hell Beast (Cleo, all 5.9 pounds of her) adds a lot of excitment, especially in the morning. She pounces on my face, my chest, my legs, complaining all the while in a very piercing "RAWR!" Yup, I have a kitty alarm clock. I know it really IS time to get up and feed the beast from hell when she eventually attacks Sweet Bubba, who likes to lounge against or between my legs, nice and quiet and warm. Poor cat. Cleo attacks him with voice, body and claws; he flies off the bed as though pulled by a high tension wire. Ah, morning... so peaceful... HA!

Tomorrow, Independence Day, Mr. Handsome wants to go sailing. On a sailboat. On Lake Michigan. He'll be the captain. I'll be... ballast? 'Cause I sure as shit can't crew. Also, he wants to bring along a total stranger, who's a friend of his sister's, who's in town to chaperone her kid while he visits his dad (her ex). He also wants to bring along another total stranger, the girlfriend of the guy who owns the boat. I sense a trend.... Any other random women with a tenuous connection to Mr. Handsome want to join us? I keep telling myself it'll be fun. I'm just not in the mood to make small talk with total strangers. Hell on waves. Anyhoo, if we drown, someone's got to feed the Hell Beasts.

Anyone out there wondering whatever happened to the electric scooter?







I'm so ashamed to admit this, but I've never used it. I'm too big, for one thing (I look ridiculous), it's not street legal and I just plain feel foolish on it. I should try to sell it NOW, while it's Summertime. sigh So, there is sits, on top of our woodpile, under the canoe that we never use.

I've got lots of pics to share from a Solstice Party Mr. Handsome's parents gave. It was fun! So, check back soon-ish. Right now, I need more coffee.

day off

see more Lolcats and funny pictures

Yet again, I SHOULD be painting the dining room. Bro? Can you help me out with some motivation, please? You're good at that.

Hot

Man, it is HOT here. Geez-oh-peets, Bro, you'd love it. Mid '90's, heat index over 100, humidity thick enough to swim in... ew.

Bubba is all stretched out on the floor, all long and opened up. He's GOTTA be hot with all that fur. I should give him a bath, he's a dirty kitty. That's one reason he got the name "Bubba;" he doesn't groom himself well. Def not a Metrosexual Kitty.

Just babbling. Gotta go to work. Thank goodness for AC at the bookstore! If we have power, that is. We lost power due to a malfunction at the power station (Power Station!)


AAAAaaaanyway, I don't know if power has been restored yet. Regardless, I'm late. oopsie!

Stream of consciousness

I miss baseball. I miss knowing all the players on my fave team and knowing their stats. I miss knowing who they are by their numbers. Without cable, I don't get to watch the Cubs. Reading about them online just is NOT the same thing. Cable seems like a frivolous expense. We get four or five channels now, all the biggies except for CBS. I don't need to spend yet MORE time planted on my butt in front of an electronic screen. But I miss baseball. It was such an integral part of the family when I was a kid. In the summer, Dad was always listening to a game on the radio in the kitchen while we watched our beloved Cubbies in the living room. Poor man was a White Sox fan with five Cub-fan kids.

We'd play Hot Box in the road. One runner between two bases. I never could outrun that ball. But it was sooooooo much fun to be outside, running around, playing with all the other kids. Being one of the youngest, I always felt like I had to justify my presence, try harder to fit in and be accepted. Bro and John E. were so cool, and their friends: Brian H., Jeff T., Joe With The 'Fro... and that one kid, Joe of the Motorcycles. So cool. Childhood had its challenges, but Summer held only joy and magic, at least in memory.

I should be reading a book to be prepared for a book club, but instead, I'm running around childhood summers! Procrastination, you are my friend!

Cleo is helping me procrastinate. She's lying on my lap, snoring. Cleo is a very old cat. She's 18 or 19 (Mr Handsome can't quite remember when he rescued her). Her back legs are getting weak, she's developing dementia, I worry about her kidney disease. She's been in my life longer than any other cat and longer than many friends. I'm trying to prepare myself for the time (in the far, far distant future, of course) when she will not be here any more. I stare at her, trying to memorize her sweet features and beautiful coloring.

Eeek! I'm getting sentimental, veering on maudlin! Ok, the visit with Homegirls was great, as always! Miss California had a full docket, but made time for me and Homegirl. DeadGirl was out of town, helping some friends come to terms with the loss of a friend (for which I honor her, as she had already said her goodbyes and this trip would not be easy for her). MC and HG and I just hung out, nothing exciting, but so GREAT to just talk and eat and connect. I miss us being together. I hope we can all go visit Miss Cali and Minnesota Man soon. No one was comfortable having her picture put up here, so I am unable to share any pics with you, Sis and Bro. But they said Hi back! :)

Gotta go read now. YAY! I love that I HAVE to read for my job!

























(picture credit: http://www.herndonfineart.com/barnet.htm)

blah blah blah

I'm just about to leave to go meet The Blonde for tea at Marie Catrib's, so excuse the random babbling of this post. We were going to go ice skating, but that didn't work out. I used to LOOOOOVE ice skating, loved it better than anything! I haven't gone in over 20 years, I betcha, though, so I wonder if I can even stay upright on the blades! Maybe I'll try later.

I had SUCH an AWESOME surprise last week (10 days?), though! My nephew came to visit with his girlfriend, Gem! It was fantastic to see him and meet her and we all went to the Green Well for dinner and then just hung out back here after. It was the BEST present, ever!

Last Fri, Mr Handsome and I went to see "Gran Torino" with Museum Girl and Lawyer Boy. We all really enjoyed it, and the Q&A with the lead actress afterwards, too. It's not your typical Eastwood movie, if such an animal even exists. It was very good, regardless! And then we went to Rose's for drinks and snacks. All fun!

Today, I opened the book store 'specially for a book club that wanted to meet there. It was very lucrative, as they spent ~$164! Woo-hoo! Yay! And I just sat there and read my book! Then I went and got Cleo's kibble from the vet. Always a bit awkward to go there. Oh, well. I respect and admire the vet who cares for the kitties and I also trust the vet techs; it's just the receptionists with whom I feel awkward. Kitties need their prescription food, so I gotta go there! The kitties are worth it. Even if Bubba is, right now, being extremely annoying by meowing and clawing at the basement door to try to get to Cleo's special food (which he may NOT have; he's got a separate diet for a different issue from hers)!

My kids

Cleo's work station




Upside down Bubba





He's going to fall, I just sense it.

Kitties

They're actually touching! She's even sleeping, curled up next to him! WOW!


Today was my second day as a bookseller! It is SUCH a pretty store, such a nice place to be. There's a lot of work to do, which is great! I mean, it'd be terrific if I could sit there and read all day, but, after all, it is a JOB! So, it's good to work. Book Doctor is very easy to get along with and a good boss in that she's not awkward about letting me know what she wants. I want a boss to be a boss, y'know? Not a drill sergant and not a kindergarten teacher. A boss. AND she's nice! I have high hopes for this job! I just need to get over the shyness of approaching people who come in. I don't want to tackle them, but I don't want to be too aloof, either. I think I'll read some biz books, to learn how to be a better biz person.

Lion!

Bubba's fur was so badly matted, we couldn't help him out! What with him never grooming himself (hence the name of Bubba) and it hurting him when we comb him, he got matted down to the skin. So, I knew he'd need to be shaved. I decided to get him a "Lion Trim."

Here's what he looked like before, in all his fluffy glory.

I took him to the vet (where his groomer is; he has to be sedated for grooming, 'cause he'll bite. It's the ONLY time he'll bite and it takes a while, but a Lion Trim takes a long time, so he had to be sedated. I am now hearing the Ramones' "I Want To Be Sedated" in my head.




It took pretty much all day. Now he's wandering around, wanting food, kinda stumbling, still gorked out a bit. He's like a drunk at the end of the night who wants some BK goodness. He couldn't have any breakfast since he was being sedated (don't want him vomiting while he's unconscious and aspirating all the kibble), so he's STARVING now and has already busted into the food bin. He really looks silly. Especially with his baby-blue bow! But he does look kinda cute.

In a ridiculous way.
Cleo disagrees.
She thinks he just looks ridiculous.

Another gorgeous, sunny day! Busy day today, I've got to get my rear in gear. Mr Handsome wants to show me some land in Spring Lake he's interested in buying. Then lunch, movie and the Fish In The Forest. It'll be good. Cleo doesn't want to leave my lap, though. She's been very clingy all morning! Her favorite place is in my lap, her second favorite is in her nest!

I've got to go take care of the Siameses now. They were very cute yesterday! Chicken played with my coat, Sally played with my scarf and Monkey just loved everyone! Sweet cats!

not much to write abut, but I'll keep trying!