hotter

So, that last post makes me laugh now, because it's been so much hotter than that, for so long, 73 sounds chilly. Yet, I've been walking anyway, with an old friend who also needs to lose weight and get stronger. In that order.

Yeah, yeah, it's supposed to be all about "health," but for me, it's all about looks. I joke at the bookstore that I'm the shallow one, enjoying books with happy endings, but it might be true. I just want to look good. I want to feel good. I want to feel like I look good. Shallow.

Autumn will come - the temps will dip below 80 - being outside won't feel like torture. I'm looking forward to it!

twitching

I've been babysitting some pets for a few days. The dog of the house, Sweetie Pie, gets two walks a day, 30 minutes a shot. It's been good for me, too! So, I decided to keep it up and went for a walk this morning. I was wearing the softest tee shirt in the whole world. I love it. But it IS rather form-fitting. And I'm kind of voluptuous right now. Too voluptuous. Both Mr. H. and I think this. Hence, the walking regimine.

Good lord, I'm out of shape. And shy. I felt like I was walking around as nekkid as Lady Godiva, without the curtain of hair or gorgeous horse to distract the eye. But I didn't realize I'd feel that way until I was well down the block and I knew if I turned around to change (and change into WHAT?!? All I have are tee shirts, and it's hot and humid outside), I'd stay inside, playing Crush the Castle.

Geez, it was revelatory. I bought these shoes that are supposed to help you get more of a work out from your walk and they really do work. They make it harder, make you work harder. Weirdly, I can feel the effort in my inner thighs, which I've never experienced from walking before. It's a good thing, but I feel so clumsy and awkward and huge. I hate joggers. As I plod down the sidewalk, leverageing my full-figured self through the quiet neighborhood streets, they glide past, smooth, sleek and graceful, swift and sweat-free. I hate them. I'm still not getting those endorphins one is supposed to get from working out. They are elusive.

My muscles are twitching like mad now. This is good. I PLAN on continuing doing this twice a day, just as if I were walking a dog. Gosh, I wish I had a dog.

fashion for chubby chicks

I wish I weren't chubby, but I am. So!

How to Dress Well when You're Overweight

from wikiHow - The How to Manual That You Can Edit

Being overweight doesn't mean you can't look stunning: it's all about a few simple rules. You can gain 10lbs with the wrong clothes

Steps

1. Make sure you are honestly aware of your body type. Overweight women tend to fall into two broad categories:
   
   • Pears: A neat waist and good bust with heavy hips and legs.
     
   • Apples: A heavier stomach and upper body, with slender leg.
     
2. Do not settle for less than fashionable clothes. Yes, it is harder to dress in the latest styles when designers base their designs around scrawny models. However, many designers are now taking plus-sized women into account.
   
3. Find well-fitting underwear. It is almost impossible - whatever your size - to look good with unsupportive and flimsy underwear. It is imperative to wear low-legged high-waisted knickers in a firm supportive cotton. This can reduce your bulk by a good two to three inches, and make sure that no unsightly wobbling can be seen underneath your clothes. Bridget Jones knew what she was talking about!
   
4. Wear a bra that will hoist the bust up far enough to leave a long midriff - often a bad bra allows the bust to 'seep' into the stomach, making it look as if you're one shapeless lump.
   
5. Get several pairs of opaque tights. They smooth out the line from the waist to the knee, and ensure there's no chafing if you're rushing around in the warm.
   
6. Choose your bottom half.
   
   • Pears should avoid trousers unless they are doing the gardening, and favour calf-length skirts, either A-line or gathered to a dropped waistband. Pears should avoid full-length skirts, which carry the broadness of the hips right down to the floor, and give the impression of a walking door.
     
   • Apples should wear a nicely-tailored pair of trousers (without pleats at the waistband, which add bulk to the stomach), well-fitting jeans, or pencil skirts that fall to just below the knee.
     
7. Choose your top half.
   
   • Pears should wear a top that reaches far enough down the body not to ride up when the arms are raised, and that fit well to display a small waist. A cardigan with one or two buttons done up over a pretty vest, a fitted shirt, or a snug jersey top with a deep V neck all look fabulous with a calf-length skirt.
     
   • Apples should wear some of the beautiful smocks and tunics that are in fashion at the moment. The gorgeous colours and swathes of fabric do a marvellous job of covering up any rolls or bulk around the stomach area, and leave slender legs looking even better in snug jeans, trousers, or sturdy leggings.
     
8. Add accessories and shoes. There is no excuse for an overweight woman not to have a wardrobe full of the most beautiful and unusual accessories around. Very slim women are often swamped by some of the most extravagant jewelry that look wonderful on bigger women. The fashion for large chunky beads is useful - you should avoid delicate diamond jewellery. Not only is it naff, it will be entirely lost on you. A big bag can make you look smaller, simply by not appearing tiny next to your bottom. 2 or 3 chunky bangles will make a plump wrist appear slender. Wearing long dangly earrings will elongate the neck.
   
   • Pears should have a supply of boots - Evans is the best shop for wide-fitting calves. A good pair of boots makes wearing a skirts a positive joy.
     
   • Apples can wear kitten heels or stilettos. Pears, with their heavy legs and ankles, should avoid at all costs: it merely looks as if you are about to fall over, or sink into the floor. A wedge heel, on the other hand, looks marvellous, however stout your legs are.
     
9. Sit down in front of the mirror. Many overweight women simply do not realise that what looks good standing up is disastrous sitting down. Does your skirt ride up and show a lumpy thigh? Can you wave to a friend across the room without straining at your sleeve? If there is the least chance that you will feel uncomfortable, find an alternative: there's nothing worse than the suspicion that any sudden movements will split your seams.
   

Tips

• Cleavage is a weapon to be used whenever possible. A beautifully exfoliated and moisturised bust, not sluttishly displayed but peeking out over a scoop neck or between the unbuttoned seams of a fitted shirt, will induce most people to forgive any other failings in your body!
  
• If in doubt about your size, always get the larger version. When you try clothes on in the changing room, you're holding in your stomach and surveying yourself from a flattering angle. In real life, that top that 'just' fits is far too small. Something a little larger will leave people wondering whether you've lost a few lbs.
  
• Bias cuts skirts should be avoided by all overweight women unless they are in a sturdy fabric. Anything bias-cut in a lightweight or clingy fabric looks genuinely appalling, and has been known to make size 12s that are well over 5 ft 9 look as if they should diet. If I had my way, they'd be illegal.
  
• Try out a wrap dress. These are far from the cure-all that some think them, but over trousers they may work for you. (on the other hand, as with me, they may add a stone. there's no logic to this)
  
• Stand straight and walk with grace. Walking with your head down and stomping heavily will only make you radiate your thickness.
  
• Learn to sew! Making a calf-length A-line skirt for pears, or a slender knee-length skirt for apples, is the easiest thing in the world, and even done by hand only takes an afternoon. You will then have a well-fitting item that no-one else has.
  
• Be aware of the power of illusion. Sometimes you meet women and are so bedazzled by their antique necklace, forties handbag, customised skirt and exquisite make-up, that it's some time before you realise they're probably a size 18. If you leave the house thinking you look fabulous, chances are several others will think so too.
  
• Big hair is a great help. It balances out your size. Big women with short boyish haircuts risk the pea-head look. Shoulder-length curls are probably best, but any fulness and gloss is a great complement to round, plump shoulders and a large bust.
  
• Be well groomed. A size 20 woman who smells of Chanel, has a discreet manicure, sits elegantly, and now and then pats a glossy head of hair, will win out every time over some pinched little wench who may well be size ten but looks as if she needs a shower.
  

Things You'll Need

• A full-length mirror
  
• An impressive selection of unusual, vintage, chunky jewelry
  
• Wide-fitting boots
  
• Big supportive pants
  
• A bra capable of wearing the weight of your breast
  
• Opaque tights
  
• Wedge heeled-shoes or sandals
  
• A large bag
  

Related wikiHows

• How to Choose an Outfit for School
  
• How to Choose Good Clothes
  
• How to Dress to Look Taller
  
• How to Make a Whole New Wardrobe by Recycling Your Clothes
  
• How to Recreate Your Wardrobe
  

Article provided by wikiHow, a wiki how-to manual. Please edit this article and find author credits at the original wikiHow article on How to Dress Well when You're Overweight. All content on wikiHow can be shared under a Creative Commons license.

A week in a day!

I did more today than I usually do in a whole week!  And that's kinda sad, but we won't go there.

Bro blew into town from the Deep South and actually gave me (almost) 24 hours notice, which is MAJOR for him!  Usually, it's the same day notice, or he just shows up.  It's fun, and it's frustrating, all at the same time.  But, ultimately, I'm just delighted to see him!  Before he left today, we met for breakfast with his son and soon-to-be daughter-in-law and son's brother-from-another-mother (it's complicated, but it works).

It was 6:30 a.m. - we were all pretty cheery for such an early hour.  I kinda forgot 6:30 a.m. existed.

Aren't they sweet? Ah, young love....

I love my Bro!

After that (8:00 a.m.), I met Cinnamon for coffee, but didn't get any pics.  It was SUPER crowded at the coffeeshop and we didn't get to meet for long, but it was wonderful to catch up in person with her.  Here's an old-ish pic, just for reference, and 'cause I love pics.

Then, I did laundry, and walked to work.

Yes, I did.

Yup, not kidding, I did, both too and from.  30 minutes each way.

For agoraphobic, chicken-chit, "are you lookin' at ME?" me, that's big news!  And manohman, do I ever need the exercise.  It should be good for me.  Right?  Only one cat-call, so that's good.  On the way home, I noticed a flying pig in someone's front yard, empty plastic easter eggs scattered all over another yard, and had to suffer through smelling the absolutely BEST, most DELICIOUS smelling BBQ from one block away.

It was fun!  Mostly.  Now I'm jonesin' for some bbq.

I really wish I'd gotten pics of the pig and the eggs.  The pig was aDORable, just really cute in a not "squee" sort of way.  And the slaughtered easter eggs....  There are no words.  I'll just give you this:

eek.



Off topic, I had really pretty hair yesterday!

Me on TV

I'm going to be on TV, which scares the bejeezus out of me. And, at the same time, I'm very excited! I'll think I'll stick with the excited part. There's no way I can lose weight in time to look good for the segment, so I'll just go with it. It's a little blurb about a shop hop tonight, airing on a little chat-show.

This is what I was wearing:

I love that brown blazer - it looks especially good with a cool black t shirt and dark, tight jeans (yes, despite my chub, I wear tight jeans). The necklace is actually a little oil phial. It's gorgeous, but doesn't show up well. And I love the shoes; comfy and tall. I actually wore tall shoes so I'd be the same height as the presenter (Joy), but then she kicked off her tall shoes and so I wound up looking like a GIGANTOR. You'll see.
This is probably all that will show on TV, for which I'm grateful.
Joy, the woman who introduced the store and the segment, is SO nice! No, really, she's just really nice and I felt more at ease than I thought I would. I'll post a link when it's available.
Golly! TV is FUN!
However, looking at my pics, I can see why Mr. Handsome says I look like Pam Ferr!s (as Laura in "R0semary & Thyme"). I do.

I asked him who I looked more like and he said, "Thyme." I see the resemblance!

Ok, so the segment just aired and I look MANIC! And very RED. Mr. Handsome says that it must be the Skype camera set-up and the ambient lighting causing my vibrant look. Kind of him, but it doesn't explain my MANICness. Holy cow. TV is scary!
Or the crazy eyes. yikes. And yet I share all this with you. huh. My narcissism knows no boundaries....


Joy was SOOOOooo nice! I mean, she really was nice and laid back and cheerful and just put me at ease. I can't imaging how zippy I would have been if she hadn't made me feel so comfortable. Doesn't she look just like Mariska Hargitay?

I used to think I kinda looked like Mariska, but, uh, no. I do think I need to go brown, though. Time to lose the red hair!

Ok, time to go for lunch!

laundry

I like to joke that I can read so many books because I neglect household chores. Actually, it's not a joke. I REALLY need to do laundry (and organize the bedroom, geez, what a sty). Today, I'm wearing a sweater that someone gave me years ago. I hardly ever wear it because it's not at all flattering, but I keep it because it was A) a gift, and B) reeeeeeaaaalllly expensive (Peruvian Connection: most of their stuff is absolutely gorgeous. The sweater I'm wearing is dull, boxy, and matronly. Also, too small. Good lord, how ungrateful do I sound?!? It WAS a sweet though, getting me a high-quality, mega-pricey sweater. I just wish I liked it, so I'd wear it, y'know? I am grateful for the thought, though).

NEWS ALERT! There's a squirrel RIGHT outside my window! He's very hungry. He's chewing on the tree bark. awww..... But he's so close I could touch him (if the window were open, but, of course, it's not, because it's 21F degrees out).

...back to our regularly scheduled musings...
I'm also wearing jeans that I pulled out of the laundry pile. I know, "ew." But the jeans I was going to wear, I couldn't get past my hips! How am I getting FATTER?!?!? I swear I wore the now-too-tight jeans last month! I'm hoping I'll get my act together to walk to work today. It's only a 30 minute walk. I don't know why I don't do it every work day. Other than, there's this weird feeling I have about not wanting to be looked at. I don't want people looking at me as they drive by, or as they look out their window. I want to be invisible, drift through their neighborhoods like fog. Ironically, I enjoy looking at people as they walk or jog by my window. huh. Anyway, being looked at makes me so uncomfortable. I get really nervous, anxious. Stupid. This unpleasant feeling is why I very often never leave the house, not even to check the mail, on my days off. Thank god for a job: It gets me out of the house.

So, it's super cold, I'm wearing an ugly, unflattering, too-tight outfit, but hopefully, I'll shrink soon. I'm trying to remember that I AM making an effort. It might not be as gung-ho an effort as some would make, but it is a beginning. I'm tired of beating myself up for being fat and ugly. It's boring.

Cultivating

Tonight is my exercise class, the one I THOUGHT was a gentle stretching and strengthening class but turned out to be kinda hardcore, with weights and aerobics and endless sit-ups. The one that knocked me out with pain for a couple weeks. Tonight, I'm going, no matter how tired, no matter how sore. I'm going and that's that. I simply must start to take my life seriously.

I'm going to create a rather rigid schedule for myself, too, just as though I were a pet. Sleeping times, feeding times, exercise times. Dang it, I would be vigilant about it for a dog; I need to care for myself at least as well as I would for a pet!

So, no more staying up reading past midnight. Nope. No more several hours-long sessions on fun (read: waste of time) websites. No more shaker of salt at hand. Less booze, less coffee, less junk food. More water, more veggies, more portion control.

I am 5' 2.5". I weigh over 155 lbs. I'm officially overweight. And my muscles are atrophying.

This will change and I'm begging you, dear reader (stranger, Sister, or friend), to leave me a message encouraging me. I need the help and support. I really do.

um...

Well, almost every day I plan on writing something, adding a pic, communicating. I dunno, it seems like I don't have any THING to share, y'know?

I did consider having a "Mascara Competition" feature. I need mascara, I REQUIRE it. Without it, my eyes disappear, or look puffy and swollen. Strange. I look strange without mascara. I never used to wear mascara, I just wore eyeliner and a little shadow for definition. I work a strong brow and lip. I was working a mid-century eye. This first pic (minus the nose stud) is a super-close representation of my look back in the '90's.


Here's Audrey to show us how it's done.



Anyhoo, My face has changed and I now need mascara AND eyeliner AND shadow and it just takes so long to get ready to go out, even just to the grocery store. Geez oh peets.

OOP! The pizza just got here! Gotta go! Thanks for reading and I'll be back.

Mrs. Jones

My mom decided on my name. My dad told me he wanted to name me either Josephine, or Alexandra Bernice (Last Name that began with a C), so I could be ABC, initial-wise. Dad liked to joke, but ya never know!

Anyway, my mom named me after an actress who died yesterday: http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0428354/

I always thought I'd grow up to be tall, blonde, and beautiful (like my mom) or tall, brunette, and beautiful (like the actress). Nope. Ah, well!

Do you know who you were named after?

snow and ice

There's a thick crust of ice on the snow now, after the big storm we got last night. More snow is on the way. It's Blizzard Time!

I think I'll walk to work - good exercise and I don't have to worry about crashing the car. I've been caught up in worrying lately. At work last week, I mae a stuuuuupid mistake and couldn't figure out how to fix it. My coworker was trying to help, but I just kept getting more and more frustrated to the point where she actually said "you need to calm down." Which, of course, is very embarrassing and never works. It just adds another layer of anxiety. I felt (and still feel) so guilty that this very preggers woman, with two little children (and a rather gormless hubby) at home waiting for her, stayed with me to the bitter end of this stupid debacle. She had it figured out - I still am somewhat confused. I'm embarrassed and ashamed. Of course, it's all ancient history now, so I'm gonna just try to let that go.

I've got a beloved friend who is in such a dark place, suicidal. I can't help, I can't be there - all I can do is let him know he's loved and there are people who would be so sad if he wasn't on this earth. Not enough, not enough.... I wish there was something I could do. I'm glad he's at least trying to get help, though, with a therapist and pharma magic. But he says it's not helping.

I'm late for work. Gotta go. It's a cold, dark day.
~~~
Ok, I had to share this, silly though it is - I'm at work, had to drive to be on time (make-up did NOT work today, had to fix, took lots of time, grrrr) so didn't get any exercise, but then I was shoveling the icy slushy snow from the store's sidewalks. A kind angel had shoveled once, but it needed it again. So, I shoveled, got all hot and sweaty, took off my sweater to cool down and my bra broke. I'm going to have to be braless at the bookstore today. My C-cups don't like to be unsupported. Luckily, I have a big scarf, so I'll be somewhat camoflaged.
Actually, it's pretty comfy!

Random ramblings

I have a head cold and have probably spread it around most of lower West Michigan and now it's expanded into my chest and I keep waking myself up by coughing up a lung. I'm just whining - it'll pass, it's just a cold.

The dining room project moved along really well when we got Joe to work for us! Now, it's stalled again. We're waiting for a professional painter because there's also some plaster work to do. Here's what it looks like now, from where I sit typing:

Look at all the extra light! It's wonderful! It's like a wall of windows! I mean, it's not, but it feels like it. Now, we have to choose paint color and that's gonna be a battle. He wants white, I want color. How to compromise (he thinks pale colors are "wimpy.)? The kitties don't give a rip about paint color; they just love looking outside!

On other topics, I still haven't started doing anything about my excessive bulk. Sis gave me a VERY generous gift certificate to the yoga studio of my choice, right down the block from the bookstore, even, but I haven't started going yet. I WILL go in January, when they've got their new session starting.

Here's an outfit that I wasn't totally hot for, but it was comfy and I love the skirt. I didn't realize how chopped up the blouse makes it look. Next time, I'll stick with a sweater.


I look so CHUNKY! I keep forgetting that I actually AM chunky. I look skinnier in the mirrors at home than I do in photos or in mirrors elsewhere. When I go shopping, I'm continually shocked at how chubby I am in the store mirrors. And, let's face it, stores do NOT have "fat" mirrors (y'know, the kind of mirror that distorts your image, making you look wider). Also, AAAAAGH! MY HAIR! I'm growing it out, which is a VERY slow process with my hair, and it's at a very unflattering length. I'm growing out layers from the Posh Bob and it's taking forever. patience patience patience....


Today, Mr Handsome and I are going to go out with some friends to cut down our Christmas tree! I'm looking forward to decorating the house - it's so cheery when it's all decorated and festive! Bubba loves the tree, too!

hair pics

Mr Handsome and I went out for lunch last week and I thought I'd snap a coupla pics to show Sis (she likes to see where we go).




The next night, we went out for dinner with friends (gosh, I post lots of pictures of beer on here, don't I?).


These pictures proved to me, beyond a doubt, that it was time to do something about my HAIR. So, Sunday night, I colored it. I've been trying to grow it out for months, and my hair takes so long to grow, that I knew I shouldn't cut it. So, I colored it auburn mixed with brown, to give it some dimension (hopefully).


It just wasn't enough. Today, I got it cut. I'm still growing it out (from the Pob - the Posh Spice Bob),

but my hair needed professional help! Here are some before and afters from today!


After color

After cut

After color

After cut

I like it!

make-up

This is why make-up is important.

Look at Eva (the pretty girl - ok, she's prob pretty even without paint).
Gorgeous!

Now look at the poor staffer scurrying to get out of the shot.

She really, really, REALLY would look so much better with just a little concealer, lipstick, and the application of hair grooming tools. I know that, sometimes, when you're at work, there's just not time for primping. But, just a little slick of lip color! It doesn't take any time at all!

It is a red-carpet affair she's working, after all. Poor thing.